Author: Josh Witten

http://www.thefinchandpea.com

Decancelliation

I imagine that very few species would consider not having to worry about leopard attacks a bad thing. The enthusiasm for any story claiming that human beings continue to being driven upwards and onwards by natural selection suggests that we pine for those halcyon days of yore when being eaten alive by jungle cats was a major source of morbidity[1]. We worry about a lack of selection for things like good eye-sight and gobble up cheap, pop evolutionary psychology[2] stories of adaptive behavior.

We really want to know are human beings still evolving and how can reclaim the benefits of natural selection without feeding our offspring to leopards?

Continue reading “Decancelliation”

LEG-Orrery

Yes. I love these things. Deal.

*Hat tip to The Brothers Brick.

Jello shots

Even if we assume for the moment that I have the character complexity of an extra on Two and a Half Men, am completely defined by my job, and make sure to advertise these facts whenever I host and/or attend social gatherings – this is not how I would make jello shots. I would make them in 50 milliliter conical vials* for ease of consumption, ease of transport, durability, and making it not look like I’m feeding my guests the plague. Unless it was Halloween.

*The BD Falcon 50mL Conical Centrifuge Tube available from Fisher Scientific for only $305.80 per 500. The petri dishes are far more affordable at $206.85 per 500.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Day

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Day is an official holiday in my house. According to the calculations of Larry Granillo, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off occurred on 5 June 1985, which ironically falls on a Sunday this year.

In honor of the 26th anniversary, I give you Ferris Club*:


*If you have not seen Fight Club, you will not get this; but, if you have not seen Fight Club, that probably happens to you a lot.

The werewolves are hungry

Very hungry.

If you are like me (let’s hope not), you have wasted time wondering why werewolves traditionally act like monsters. You know, killing and eating people. Sure, there is that whole “primal nature of the beast” overwhelming “humanity” thing; but that is clearly not sufficient to explain the lycanthropic killing sprees. Aquarium sharks don’t kill all their roommates, and it is hard to get more primal than a shark. Why do sharks act in this reasonable way? Because they aren’t hungry[1]. Continue reading “The werewolves are hungry”