Rapture insurance

This is a scam of which I actually did think, but seem to lack the lack of moral fiber required to implement it (who knew?). It goes something like this:

When you are raptured (rupture?, hanged/hung?) and your vehicle becomes pilotless, that vehicle instantly becomes a hazard to everyone around it and virtually guaranteed to cause an accident. While the poor bastards your vehicle will certainly mow down are not saved, failing to take financial responsibility for the injuries and damage caused by your unguided property is hardly the Christian thing to do.

Being a responsible citizen, I know you carry a reasonable and legal amount of automobile insurance. Unfortunately, your regular insurance will not cover these damages as the Rapture is, by definition, an Act of God.

Therefore, we are offering “Rapture Insurance” to provide generous compensation to those injured in body or property when you are taken up into the heavens in the middle of your commute at reasonable premiums based on the latest actuarial data.

*I take no responsibility for any scallywags that actually try to implement this scam. Unless they give me a cut.

Author: Josh Witten


One thought on “Rapture insurance”

  1. As I’ve watched the rapture headlines, I have been thinking about you and your brilliant scheme to profit from this foolishness.

    And my apologies for being AWOL. No, I wasn’t raptured; my excuse is more quotidian.

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