Through hard won experience, we have learned that Josh frequently finds the English language inadequate in its descriptive variety, requiring the establishment of new terms, specifically crafted for the task at hand. The right tool for the right job, wot? We have also found that a concise dictionary of these terms is necessary in order to have any idea what he is on about.

  • apatheist (ah-path-ee-ist), n, an individual who is personally atheist, but does not care about the religious beliefs of others; ant, New Atheist.
  • Browniate (brow-nee-ate), v, to move in a way that is reminiscent of diffusive, Brownian motion.
  • culturef, n, shorthand portmanteau for “pop culture reference”, where “pop culture” equals the late 80s/early 90s of Josh’s formative years.
  • demarcation problem, n, problem of philosophy when trying to identify when balding has progressed far enough that one no longer has hair, but hairs.
  • Disney Continuity Principle, n, when comparing two hypotheses regarding Disney animated classics, the hypothesis that generates the greatest continuity with other Disney animated classics is to be favored. Based on the concept that all Disney animated films occur with a single, continuous world.
  • DOOM!sday, n, satirical usage to highlight the rhetorical use of extreme worst case scenario arguments as if they are certain results as method for influencing a debate.
  • DWM theory, n, acronym for Darwin-Wallace-Mendel theory, used to credit the founding scientists whose work underpinned the Modern Synthesis of Evolutionary Theory, which unified the theory of evolution by natural selection developed by Darwin and Wallace with the laws of inheritance propounded by Mendel, the founder of genetics.
  • ex ano, idiom, to pull out of one’s ass, Latin, ablative, literally “from the anus” or “out of the anus” (additional credit to the entirety of Mr. O’Neill’s AP Latin IV class).
  • fox-tosser, n, someone who derives their pleasure from inflicting senseless cruelty on weaker individuals. Derived from medieval sport of fox-tossing.
  • genomycism – the unsubstantiated belief that the cataloging of the genomic sequence of an individual conveys useful understanding about their ancestry, current characteristics, and disease risk with high degrees of accuracy and predictive power.
  • hiPut, adj, jargony shortening of high-throughput to highlight the meaningless, catchphrase way the term is used, while making it easier to incorporate the concept into bad haiku.
  • Kosher bacon argument, idiom, the fallacious argument that organizations ban the behaviors that their leadership secretly long to engage in, usually used in reference to Catholic molestation scandal and credited to Christopher Hitchens.
  • lactile vulcanism, n, the epic spit-up Offspring 2.02 delivered unto mine lap in mid-feeding last night.
  • loPut, adj, jargony shortening of low-throughput to highlight the meaningless, catchphrase way the term is used, while making it easier to incorporate the concept into bad haiku.
  • meh-sogynist, n, an individual who exhibits vaguely less respect for women than men, without outright contempt or dislike of females. Commonly observed amongst individuals with penises over the age of 8.
  • Myers Test, named after Skeptic KO Myers, a true AI will only try to have sex with a toaster once when drunk.

  • phenomesome (fe-nom-ee-sum), adj, contraction of “phenomenally awesome” to indicate same, portmanteau.
  • polyawesomer (pol-ee-awe-sum-er), adj, hyperbolic superlative for an individual who is extremely awesome. Original use to describe Dr. Mrs. Rugbyologist.
  • ride the pig, v, to use an item for a purpose for which it was never intended, e.g., when The Frogger uses her piggy bank as a stool, she is literally riding the pig.
  • snarkitecht (snar-ke-tekt), n, a master of the subtle use of snark to make an argument or undercut an opponent’s argument. Contrasts with typical inelegant and counter-productive use of snark, especially amongst bloggers.
  • Tyson Test, named after prominent astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, to a true AI the moon appears larger at the horizon than at the top of the sky.

  • woonackery (woo-nak-er-ee), n, general term describing a pseudoscientific field, syn., woo-woo, snake oil.
  • woonackerist (woo-nak-er-ist), n, one who peddles or promotes woonackery, snake oil salesman, e.g., Andrew Wakefield, Jenny McCarthy, Senator Tom Harkin.

11 thoughts on “Rugbyologisms”

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