Yes. I love these things. Deal.
*Hat tip to The Brothers Brick.
Even if we assume for the moment that I have the character complexity of an extra on Two and a Half Men, am completely defined by my job, and make sure to advertise these facts whenever I host and/or attend social gatherings – this is not how I would make jello shots. I would make them in 50 milliliter conical vials* for ease of consumption, ease of transport, durability, and making it not look like I’m feeding my guests the plague. Unless it was Halloween.
*The BD Falcon 50mL Conical Centrifuge Tube available from Fisher Scientific for only $305.80 per 500. The petri dishes are far more affordable at $206.85 per 500.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Day is an official holiday in my house. According to the calculations of Larry Granillo, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off occurred on 5 June 1985, which ironically falls on a Sunday this year.
In honor of the 26th anniversary, I give you Ferris Club*:
Very hungry.
If you are like me (let’s hope not), you have wasted time wondering why werewolves traditionally act like monsters. You know, killing and eating people. Sure, there is that whole “primal nature of the beast” overwhelming “humanity” thing; but that is clearly not sufficient to explain the lycanthropic killing sprees. Aquarium sharks don’t kill all their roommates, and it is hard to get more primal than a shark. Why do sharks act in this reasonable way? Because they aren’t hungry[1]. Continue reading “The werewolves are hungry”
In the spirit of Whose Line is It Anyway?, these lyrics were composed on the fly in response to The Frogger requesting, “Daddy, sing a song about a shark.” Not knowing any songs about sharks, I found myself inspired by the opening scene of Jaws.
BRUCE THE SHARK
*Sung to the tune of “Lily the Pink” as arranged and performed by Dirty Dishes.
Here’s a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad,
About Bru-uce the-e Shar-ark
And how he bit my leg in HALF!
CHORUS
And we’ll drink, we’ll drink, we’ll drink
To Bruce the Shark, the Shark, the Shark
The greatest hunter in the sea-ea-ea
He used his pointy tee-eeth
To bi-ite into me. Continue reading “Bruce the Shark”
The Finch and Pea 