Giant swarming schools of squid cause zombie apocalypse

I hope this will help. I have one thing left to do at work today and I cannot get to it until I vent about this headline from boingboing:

Giant schools of swarming squid surround fish photographer

I guarantee that William Strunk, Jr.’s zombie is crawling out of its grave right now in pursuit of Xeni Jardin‘s BRAAAAIIINNNSSSS!*

Just to make me happy (and delay the zombie apocalypse), let’s get rid of the words that are strongly implied by other words in this title.

Giant schools of swarming squid surround fish photographer

giant – not only is this term relative, the fact that they could surround an adult human implies that there were more than a paltry few squid.

schools – looks like one school and the surrounding implies we have a bunch of squid in close proximity to each other.

swarming – I dare you to find squid surrounding an adult human with behavior that could not be described as “swarming”.

fish – dude’s taking pictures of creatures under the water. You do that, you are, at that moment a “fish photographer” even if you have never photographed fish before in your life. And, yes, I know squid are not fish, but we unfortunately seem to allow other people to provide input regarding acceptable English vocabulary.

Is the new title, “Squid surround photographer”, less dramatic? Yes; but we are trying to avoid the zombie apocalypse, people.

The pictures are cool though.

*Glass houses. Stones. I KNOW. Please remember, my writing style is expressive, not informative. This is about me, not you.

Author: Josh Witten

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