Through hard won experience, we have learned that Josh frequently finds the English language inadequate in its descriptive variety, requiring the establishment of new terms, specifically crafted for the task at hand. The right tool for the right job, wot? We have also found that a concise dictionary of these terms is necessary in order to have any idea what he is on about. A regularly (or, you know, as often as Josh makes something up) updated version of this glossary can be found at the Rugbyologisms Page.

  • apatheist (ah-path-ee-ist), n, an individual who is personally atheist, but does not care about the religious beliefs of others; ant, New Atheist.
  • Browniate (brow-nee-ate), v, to move in a way that is reminiscent of diffusive, Brownian motion.
  • demarcation problem, n, problem of philosophy when trying to identify when balding has progressed far enough that one no longer has hair, but hairs
  • DWM theory, n, acronym for Darwin-Wallace-Mendel theory, used to credit the founding scientists whose work underpinned the Modern Synthesis of Evolutionary Theory, which unified the theory of evolution by natural selection developed by Darwin and Wallace with the laws of inheritance propounded by Mendel, the founder of genetics.
  • ex ano, idiom, to pull out of one’s ass, Latin, ablative, literally “from the anus” or “out of the anus” (additional credit to the entirety of Mr. O’Neill’s AP Latin IV class).
  • fox-tosser, n, someone who derives their pleasure from inflicting senseless cruelty on weaker individuals. Derived from medieval sport of fox-tossing.
  • hiPut, adj, jargony shortening of high-throughput to highlight the meaningless, catchphrase way the term is used, while making it easier to incorporate the concept into bad haiku.
  • loPut, adj, jargony shortening of low-throughput to highlight the meaningless, catchphrase way the term is used, while making it easier to incorporate the concept into bad haiku.
  • phenomesome (fe-nom-ee-sum), adj, contraction of “phenomenally awesome” to indicate same, portmanteau.
  • polyawesomer (pol-ee-awe-sum-er), adj, hyperbolic superlative for an individual who is extremely awesome. Original use to describe Dr. Mrs. Rugbyologist.
  • ride the pig, v, to use an item for a purpose for which it was never intended, e.g., when The Frogger uses her piggy bank as a stool, she is literally riding the pig.
  • snarkitecht (snar-ke-tekt), n, a master of the subtle use of snark to make an argument or undercut an opponent’s argument. Contrasts with typical inelegant and counter-productive use of snark, especially amongst bloggers.
  • technotard (tek-no-tard), n, an individual who is perpetually confused by technology and mechanical devices. Mythical association with certain members of clan of the rugbyologist, whose immense talents do not involve ease with technology.
  • woonackery (woo-nak-er-ee), n, general term describing a pseudoscientific field, syn., woo-woo, snake oil.
  • woonackerist (woo-nak-er-ist), n, one who peddles or promotes woonackery, snake oil salesman, e.g., Andrew Wakefield, Jenny McCarthy, Senator Tom Harkin.

Author: Josh Witten

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